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Wednesday, January 17th, 2007
10:18 pm
10 YEARS AGO

1.) How old were you?: 19, almost 20. HA HA, I'm the youngest!

2.) Where did you go to school? Let's see...I was in the second half of my first year at Mac. So, I was taking 1st year classes - drama, classics, world religion, psychology, and I think there might have been a calculus in there. I was also in rehearsals for Widows and Children First, where I played a gay teenager. Sigh.

3.) Where did you work? No job yet, I don't think. I hadn't started MY Blockbuster career yet (I was first, Michelle and Aaron...and I warned you, didn't I?)

4.) Where did you live? Hamilton. I hadn't gotten out yet.

5.) Where did you hang out? Togo caf, but I have to disagree Aaron, I don't think it had been named the Vortex yet...that wasn't until '98 or '99.

6.) Did you wear glasses? At home. Never in public.

7.) Who was your best friend? I believe that was the year between Cabaret and Evita, so I was still pretty tight with theatre school people...Andrew, Aaron, Dave, and Michelle. Don't think I became friends with Mark yet...that wasn't until the camping trip that summer.

8.) How many tattoos did you have? None, but I DID still have long hair.

9.) How many piercings did you have? One in my left ear from when I was 11. Never closed up, but I didn't wear anything in it.

10.) What car did you drive? My beloved Claire....my blue '87 turbo Sundance. I had a lot of good times in that car. And, may I add, I drove all of your no-license asses around.

11.) Had you been to a real party yet? What's a "real" party? Lots of theatre school parties. No Mac drama parties yet, I don't think. Still had never drank, and thought I would never.

12.) Had your heart broken? Still hadn't had a girfriend, still a virgin, yada yada yada. Kissed a couple of girls though..like Ali Penko in theatre school and Kathryn Taylor, now Harrington.

13.) Single/Taken/Married/Divorced/Bitter: Single.

FIVE YEARS AGO

1.)How old were you? 24, almost 25. Yup, still younger.

2.) Where did you go to school? Let's see...2002. I was just finishing up my Master's at Concordia in Montreal. I was also in a production of The Collection by Harold Pinter at McGill University. Playing an ambiguously gay guy. Go figure.

3.) Where did you work? I was my professor's research assistant, and I was doing an (unpaid) internship at the Montreal Children's Hospital.

4.) Where did you live? Montreal, j'adore....

5.) Where did you hang out? Crescent street, rehearsal, the MCH, and my house...I was finishing my Master's for crissakes.

6.) Did you where contacts? Yes, still. Am I really going to be the first one to point out the horrible spelling mistake in this question?

7.) Who was your best friend? Still friends with the Hamilton crowd, but my best friends were Julia, and my Montreal homies, Al and Ben.

8.) Who was your crush? Well, I always have many many crushes. I think Jan 2002 was Kerith, the director of The Collection, and I was still crushing on Jayne, who I had hooked up with a few months earlier, but hadn't yet dated. Also the hot French dietician at the MCH. Wait...maybe I was dating Sacha at that time?

9.) How many tattoos did you have? None.

10.) How many piercings did you have? Still the left ear. Still no earrings.

11) What car did you drive? No cars in Montreal. Train only.

12.) Had you had your heart broken? Well, I was still getting over a few girls...Jordan had ended a year before (so I was WAAAAAYYYY over that one...I was over that one the minute after we broke up), but I was still pissed off about Sophie, and still a little sad about Jill and Jayne. But not broken, I don't think. Although Julia broke my heart later that year.

13.) Single/Taken/Married/Divorced/Bitter: Single.

**DECEMBER 2006**

1.) How old are you? 29, almost 30. Sigh.

2.) Where do you work? 3 jobs: AEON - teaching English, Gaba - teaching English, and World Family - singing songs to kids over the phone...in English.

3.) Where do you live? Yabe, Sagamihara City, Japan.

4.) Do you wear glasses? At home, and occasionally in public, when my eyes are acting up.

5.) Who are your best friends? Still friends with the Canada crowd, except I don't really talk with them very frequently. My best friends in Japan are Sid, April, and Itsuko, and friends with Jay and Miller, although I don't see them much.

6.) Do you talk to your old friends? Well, Michelle, I think that friends that have 'always been' your friends are practically the definition of 'old friends', but maybe you don't count me as such because I'm not old...? But yes I still talk to many...still a few from the theatre school crowd, and my oldest friend is Nicole, from high school.

7.) How many piercings do you have? Still the one. And still no earrings. Although I had an eyebrow ring in 2004. That closed up.

9.) What kind of car do you have? No driving in Japan. Only trains.

10.) Had your heart broken? These Japanese girls are heartbreakers.

11.) Single/Taken/Married/Divorced? Taken. Let's see if this one lasts.

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Wednesday, March 22nd, 2006
12:43 am
Yeah I know I haven't posted in...like....a year. But I'm Spiderman dammit!


Your results:
You are Spider-Man
Spider-Man
85%
Superman
70%
Hulk
60%
Green Lantern
60%
The Flash
50%
Iron Man
50%
Batman
45%
Supergirl
45%
Robin
45%
Catwoman
45%
Wonder Woman
40%
You are intelligent, witty,
a bit geeky and have great
power and responsibility.


Click here to take the "Which Superhero am I?" quiz...

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Saturday, July 16th, 2005
8:26 pm
Holy shit. I`m in Japan.

current mood: horny

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Thursday, July 14th, 2005
1:30 am - 5 1/2 hours left....
Well, I'm getting picked up by the shuttle to the airport in 3 hours, and I have 5 1/2 hours till my flight outta here. Goodbye Canada! Goodbye Bagarelli Brothers! Goodbye Monday night comedy/karaoke! Goodbye shitty job! Goodbye Hamilton smog! Goodbye to it all and more...

I never thought that I could get attached to this place again, but miraculously, I did...so thank GOD I'm getting out of here. That attachment might have become permanent.

So wish me luck everyone, and I'll see you on the flipside!

current mood: hot

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Monday, July 11th, 2005
3:31 am - 3 Days Left...
Well, I'm sitting here trying to stay awake in order to get through what will soon be my 18th straight hour of working in a row. When all is said and done, I will have done a total of 21.5 hours straight. Why am I such an idiot?

I will arrive home at approximately 8 am, fall asleep (probably immediately), and sleep until 3 or so. Then, get up, meet some friends for the premiere of Wedding Crashers, followed by Hess Village for stand up comedy, karaoke, and general mirth and merriment. Tuesday during the day will consist of beginning to pack my life up to move to another continent. Sure, Tuesday night I will get out briefly to see a few Toronto Fringe plays, but for the most part, my hours are counting down. As the supergroup Europe once said, 'It's the Final Countdown'.

I would like to add that I'm so deliriously tired right now that I have absolutely no memory of what I just typed mere seconds ago. When I read back, my eyebrows lift in surprise at the idiocy of my delirium.

Wednesday, of course, will be family day....say goodbye to my mom, that sort of thing. I'm starting to really get nervous. I usually look forward to getting the hell out of this place, but this time I think I actually ENJOYED being home. Which is very strange. Well, no turning back now...who knows what lies ahead?

Keep checking this space for (now more frequent) updates, and for the ongoing story of Ron Moves To Japan.

current mood: horny

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Wednesday, June 29th, 2005
3:22 am - how true it is...hammersquirrel WAS my first kiss!
If Your Whole Life Was Lived on LJ by Karen_Walker
Username
Nickname
Your Parenthammersquirrel2
First Grade Teacherharliqwynn
Grade School Bullyjessity
Best Friendmickeyv
First Kisshammersquirrel
Prom Dateclaireleo
College Prof. Affairjessity
Your Bosshammersquirrel
Your Spousemickeyv
Your Oldest Childharliqwynn
Quiz created with MemeGen!

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3:21 am
Your LJ Funeral by Dooreatoe
Username
Cries the mosthammersquirrel2
Doesn't cry at allclaireleo
Laughs at your funeralmickeyv
Clings to your coffinhammersquirrel
Punches your dead bodyharliqwynn
Necrophiliacjessity
Bakes pot browniesclaireleo
Secretly wishes you were still alivejessity
Funeral Attendants115
Amount of times you're raped by the necro59
Chance that your coffin will get dropped: 10%
Quiz created with MemeGen!

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3:21 am
You Think Michael Jackson Is Guilty

Q: Have you seen the new Michael Jackson candy bar?
A: It's white chocolate with no nuts.... (but kids like it)

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3:10 am - Guess I'll need this one....


Your Japanese Name Is...









Kenta Asukai



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3:08 am
Your LJ Prison by redfrog021
Username
Favorite Deadly Sin
You are convicted ofFrequent Public 'Self-Love'
And sentenced to2 years
Wardenhammersquirrel
Abusive redneck guardclaireleo
Easy to bribe guardharliqwynn
Cellmatehammersquirrel2
Wants to make you their bitchmickeyv
Drops soap in the shower on purposejessity
Works in the laundry and smells people's undiesjessity
Comes to see you for 'conjugal visits'claireleo
Quiz created with MemeGen!

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3:05 am
LiveJournal Username
Real Name
Favorite Color
Secret Identity Name
Secret Identity Profession
Superhero NameThe Basilisk
Super PowerFreezing Powers
Sidekickmickeyv
CostumeMeow baby, anything I want
Reason for fighting injustice.You live for praise.
Arch Nemesisjessity
Reason for being at odds.Jealousy of superpowers
Your fate...You save the day and retire to your secret identity.
This Fun Quiz created by Lindsay at BlogQuiz.Net
Cancer Horoscope at DailyHoroscopes.Biz

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Friday, June 17th, 2005
6:32 pm - Montreal
Well, just got back early this morning from an all-too-quick visit to my favourite city in the world, Montreal. Went down to visit some friends and to catch some fringe festival shows. It was so strange to be there as NEITHER an artist or a volunteer. Ever since I've HEARD of the Fringe, I've been one or both. But it was interesting how my minor-celebrity status still held, despite not even BEING in the festival this year.

Saw my idol and friend, Mark Chavez, the most brilliant comedic and theatrical mind I know. He was (expectedly) disappointed that I wasn't in the festival this year, but put it that 'it was a loss to the theatre-going public'. And my OTHER idol, his girlfriend Nicola Gunn, the most talented physical actress who has EVER lived, went to far as to DEDICATE her show to me, and included my name as a character in her show. Man, I couldn't have been more flattered and thrilled.

Saw some other great shows...one called Confessions of a Class Clown starring Monster Theatre's Ryan Gladstone. I've had some issues with these guys in the past, but this was a FANTASTIC, well-written and performed show, about him being a little shit when he was a kid, and the social conventions that CRUSHED that spirit out of him. Awesome.

Also, saw my heroes the Sabotage guys in their new show 'Stop Not Going'. As amazing as always.

Some other...uh...interesting ones. Saw one called Miku Haku, which were these guys from the Maori Tribe in New Zealand. They sell out the Edinburgh Festival (a practically impossible feat) every year, and so I figured they MUST be awesome. It started with the four men dressed in tribal wear, down to the loincloths and bare chests and tribal face makeup. They crept onstage and began to do a tribal dance and chant. Suddenly, and without warning, one picked up a guitar, one a bass, one sat at a drum machine, and the other stood at the mic at the front of the stage and they did hard rock versions of popular songs. Very odd. The lead singer guy was also this aging queen who sort of reminded me of Hedwig and the Angry Inch. Interesting, to say the least.

Made some plans with my buddy Tristan for future productions. We're both very interested in puppets, and next year he wants to do a creepy Jan Svenkmeyer's-Alice type of puppet show, and he wants me to write it (or co-write it). That way I can at least have a foothold in the festival, even if I can't actually be there.

The year AFTER, we fully plan on doing the entire Canadian fringe circuit. So, look for me to return to the fringe in 2007 with a vengeance! I'm planning an adult puppet musical a la Avenue Q. It's going to make up famous. I can feel it.

Other than that, almost got laid 3 times in four days.....ah, the fringe.

current mood: horny

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Friday, June 10th, 2005
10:38 pm - Toronto's Parking Racket, Part 2
HAVE YOU EVER BEEN BURNED BY CORRUPT PARKING LAWS?! TOO MANY OF US HAVE! TOO MANY OF THE PEOPLE ROLL OVER AND ALLOW THE CORRUPT PARKING OFFICIALS TO STEAMROLL US AND EMPTY OUR POCKETS! AS A PEOPLE, WE MUST UNITE! UNITE! UNITE! UNITE!

Uh...or something like that.

So, the parking scam, part 2.

Imagine, if you will, myself confidently striding down King St in Toronto, striding right up to the Parking Ticket Office and marching in like I owned the place. 'They're going to pay', I thought, 'They're SO going to pay.'

Then, the line up. Wednesday afternoon, around 1:00pm...everyone's at work, right? Well, obviously not the 50 or so people who decided to line up at the parking ticket office that day. As I waited (relatively) patiently in line, I noticed the sign on the wall. A graph, to be more precise. A graph of waiting-in-line times. On an AVERAGE weekday, between the hours of 11:30 and 2:30, there is an AVERAGE waiting time in that same line of over 15 minutes. I waited there 37. 37 minutes of free time to ponder the inconceivable idea of hundreds of people on an AVERAGE day, paying parking tickets. 'Are there really that many people in Toronto who willfully and knowingly disobey parking laws EVERY SINGLE DAY? Is it possible that Torontonians are incredibly disrepectful of the law and ignorant of where cars should be parked? Can that possibly be true?'

Search your heart, as I did. You know the answer HAS to be....'no'. No, people are not, by nature, disrespectful of laws. People do not willingly park their cars in incorrect places, just so that they can give their hard-earned money and take time out of their hard-working days for their benevolent and omniscient government. Nay, I say.

The truth...what HAS to be the truth, is that the government has pulled a fast one on the good people of Toronto. They set up parking traps to trick people into parking their cars where they should not be. They hide signs so that drivers have no idea that they are breaking a law in the first place. When they do place signs, they word them confusingly so that people think it's okay to park there. Because, apparently, the city of Toronto does not have enough money. They're broke. 'What to do, what to do,' think the impoverished government officials? 'How can we get more money to keep this great city of ours afloat?........I KNOW! LET'S TRICK THE PEOPLE INTO GIVEING US THEIR MONEY!' Ingenious, really, when you think about it.

Around the time this thought came up, I found myself at the front of the line. "Ooooooh, here we go", I think, "Now the gig is up. Someone's ON to them." I confidently stride up to the window and say, "I would like to dispute this please." I think, 'She'll know...she HAS to know that I'm on to her crooked ring. She'll fold like a house of cards in the wind." Instead, she impassively looks back at me, handing me a form, and says, 'Fill this out.'

I look down at it, a little taken aback by why must be an incredibly iron will. The form is to say that I will have to go to court to fight said ticket. I look back up at her, and say, 'Um, there's just one thing. I'm going out of the country in a month, and I won't be back for a year, and so I won't be in the country to go to court'. 'That'll stick it to her,' I think. 'She'll have to give it up now...I won't even BE HERE!!!BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!'

'You have to pay or go to court', she says.

'But you don't understand. I'm not paying this. It was a mistake. The cop didn't even GIVE me the ticket.'

'You have to pay or go to court', she says.

'But I can't be here to fight it. And the plate owner is incapable of travelling'.

'You have to pay or go to court,' she says, shrugging dismissively.

'Well, there HAS to be another option. Isn't there someone else that I can talk to?'

'They'll just tell you the same thing. Pay or go to court.'

'But....'

'If you want, someone else can go to court for you.'

I had her now. 'Oh, someone ELSE, you say? Oh, well if you would just direct me to the mythical person who will take a day off of work to fight someone ELSE's parking ticket, I'll most certainly ask them, thanks.'

Not even a blink. 'Pay or go to court.'

I knocked on the glass (wishing I had a gun, and wondering if it was bulletproof glass anyway...I'm sure it has to be, with this lady working there), and said, 'Oh, I'm sorry. I thought this was a brick wall.'

Yeah! That'll teach her.

Nothing. 'Pay or go to court.'

'Go fuck yourself, you fat ho bag,' I said, and spat on the glass.

Okay, maybe I embellished that last little bit, but that would have been awesome, wouldn't it?

So, that's it. I pay, or I go to court, which I won't even be on the continent to do. Any takers out there to fight my ticket for me?

I swear, what we need is a good old fashioned revolution, like they had in the old days. I KNOW this is a racket. I KNOW it's a scam. So why do people just roll over and accept it? Why don't people FIGHT this bullshit?

Vive la revolution.

current mood: horny

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Tuesday, June 7th, 2005
12:00 am - Warning: Lots of swearing
Boy I was right pissed today. Okay, here's the story...

Come with me, if you will, all the way back to May 10th, 2005. I drive to Toronto to meet my friend Jose, who is coming up from Mexico to visit Canada for the first time. He will be arriving at Union Station at 8pm. I drive up there, being the dutiful friend, and park my car a few blocks down on Front Street, where I always park to go to Union Station. However, whereas there are several cars parked on the same block, the spot I have has no parking meter. I'm a little weary, but I figure I'm only going to be a minute, so I run over to Union, find out that Jose's train is delayed, and run back to move my car. Luckily, one of the cars has moved, and I now have a spot in front of a meter. I pull up a space to the meter, and get out to put my money in.

As I get out of the car, the bum...sorry Homeless Citizen sitting on the curb by my car tells me that I shouldn't park there, or I'll get towed. I'm cautiously concerned, but I figure, 'Hey, I'm by a meter, I don't see any signs that say I can't park here, and let's be honest...it's not like this guy parks all that much". So, I ask him if he's sure, since there is a meter, and he responds with, 'Well, you don't have to believe me, but I'm here a lot and a lot of people come back looking for their car, and I tell them that it's been towed and it's now over around the corner..." I'm still cautiously optimistic that I can still park there...there's a damned METER, for God's sake! So, I wander down the block a bit trying to find some sign that supports what the homeless gentleman told me. I saw no signs, with the exception of one a block down, hidden behind a tree, which read 'No Standing'. "No Standing," I thought, "Well, I'm not STANDING, I'm parking! Aw, I think that guy's off his rocker..."

So, I go back to my car, still mildly nervous that maybe I should just move it anyway....when I notice the tow truck. At first, the truck looks like it's driving past...and then backing up. It takes me a few seconds to realize that the tow truck is actually PULLING UP TO MY CAR AS I STAND THERE. Now I start to panic. I turn, and see the police officer, writing the ticket, and directing the tow truck. I run up to her, and frantically explain that I hadn't gone anywhere, I was simply looking for a sign that said whether or not I could park there. "This is YOUR car?" she asks. I reply affirmatively, and she explains that no I can't park there, and that there is a sign just down there that reads 'No Standing' that proves it. In my head I start to scream at her, "No Standing?! NO FUCKING STANDING!? What the fuck does NO STANDING mean!?! PEOPLE FUCKING STAND!!! CARS PARK GODDAMN IT!"

But, as uncalm as I was inside, she calmly said, "Oh, okay, don't worry about it. Go ahead." Relief washed over me in a flood. I was literally seconds away from having my car towed in Toronto, minutes before picking up my Mexican friend. Wouldn't THAT have been awesome? 'Hey, Jose, welcome to Canada. I can't actually help you with your bags or take you home after you've been travelling for 36 hours, because my FUCKING CAR JUST GOT TOWED!' I was so happy that I didn't even bat an eye when I then had to pay $10 for parking half a block down.

I got Jose, he stayed for two weeks, everything was happy and the near-towage went forgotten. Until today, that is....

I've been seriously struggling with bills lately. Both of my last loan payments ended up making me overdrawn in my bank account. I'm frantically trying to pay back my mother for using her credit card to buy my iPod. I also ow her money for several other purchases, such as a personal cooling system for use in Japan, a $23 fee for using the 407 for a measly half an hour (completely unbelievable), $17 for having no money at all to mail my eBay parcels with, $80 I still owe Moore's for suit #8, etc., etc., etc. We had a garage sale on the weekend (our second in 2 weeks), and I did fairly well...over the two garage sales, I made about $900. I had to say goodbye to my electric guitar (sniff), but I've almost paid off my mother.

So, I get up today, and my mom tells me that she's got a surprise for me. "What could it be?" I wonder. "Another damned suit? More frickin' dress shirts or ties?" But no. Those would have been welcome in the face of....(dramatic music here)...The $60 Parking Ticket. Yessir, after I was a good citizen and didn't just leave my car there, but INSTEAD walked around looking for a sign for permission to park there, after the police officer told me to 'Forget about it' and sent me on my way, after narrowly avoiding Tow Truck Hell...after all of that, they send me a damned parking ticket anyway. And not JUST a parking ticket. Apparently, this is my FINAL NOTICE parking ticket, which I must pay or I get a criminal mark on my record. This is of course the final notice to pay the parking ticket that I NEVER FUCKING RECEIVED IN THE FIRST PLACE. Not only does the parking ticket piss me off, but the knowledge that the city of Toronto has set that street up as a parking trap for citizens (and, due to it's close proximity to Union Station, unwitting visitors and tourists) so that the city can suck some money out of people for parking tickets and towing fees. If they had had a sign actually CLOSE to where I had parked, and if that sign actually said 'No PARKING' or 'No STOPPING' like every other normal parking sign says, then I wouldn't have even been there in the first place. But you KNOW they put it there to suck money out of the unwitting.

Well, I'm not going down easy. Now I have to go to Toronto to FIGHT this bullshit ticket. Hell, I'll take this all the way up to the fucking Ontario premier if I fucking have to. This is such bullshit. I never even left my car, for Christ's sake. They only sent me this ticket because they don't think I have the balls to stand up to their corrupt parking ring. Well, how wrong they are. They are going to get an eyeful and an earful of my short, angry ass. I'm onto them and their underhanded criminal activity. Hell, I'll pay hundreds for a lawyer, just to go against the PRINCIPLE of not paying that 60 bucks.

Assholes.

current mood: horny

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Tuesday, May 24th, 2005
5:59 pm - I guess I'm it.
1. Total number of books I own - A ridiculous number. I swear it's passed the 300 mark. I have whole rooms entirely devoted to book storage. I seriously could give the Terryberry library a run for it's money.

2. Last book I bought - A first Book of Japanese Cooking by Masako Yamaoka. You know, gotta get prepared.

3. Last book I read - The Dark Tower by Stephen King. I read 4 of these books in high school and loved them, and then promptly forgot all about them, since there were still 3 books in the series that hadn't been written yet. Think Harry Potter, but with like 10 years between each book. So, Mr. King has finally gotten around to finishing the series, and my friend from high school recently gave me a copy of part 6. So, I thought I'd give the series another run, this time actually finishing the whole thing.

4. Books that have a special place in my heart - So many, but here's a few.

a) "True or False" by David Mamet. The most concise, inspirational, and down to earth acting guide ever. A must-have for anyone serious about acting.

b) "Alligator Pie" by Dennis Lee. There's a lot of children's books that I could have mentioned (James and the Giant Peach...or really anything by Roald Dahl, Cat in the Hat, The Giving Tree, Where the Sidewalk Ends, the Fighting Fantasy series, any Robert Munsch book, and many, many more, all of which made a definite impression), but this is the one that seemed to stand out. Maybe also because, one day about a week ago, I found a copy of it mysteriously sitting on one of my shelves, and I'm quite sure it hadn't been there before.

c) "I'll Love You Forever" by Robert Munsch. The other children's book that I'll mention. I still can't read this one without bawling like a newborn. A very important book for me and my mother.

d) "Brief Interviews with Hideous Men". The first book I read by my current favourite author, David Foster Wallace. Flat out a brilliant piece of literature.

e) "A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius". The first book by my other favourite author, Dave Eggers. Actually lives up to the title.

f) "The Evil Dead Companion" by Bill Warren. Not only the complete story of how three of my favourite movies were made, complete with a section written by Bruce Campbell, the greatest man who ever lived...but also an incredibly inspirational 'you can do it too' story of a few guys who got together to make a movie...and succeeded.

g) "Dibs in Search of Self" by Virgina Axline. An incredible stranger-than-fiction story of a boy in therapy. Completely accessible to anyone even if not in the mental health field, and I guarantee you it will leave you with your jaw on the floor.

h) "Lying on the Couch" by Irvin Yalom. A novel written by a psychiatrist which made me excited to be a therapist. Also accessible to anyone.

i) "House" by Daniel MacIvor. Not really a book, per se, but the best play by the best playwright that inspired almost all that I am today.

I went over the five, but so did hammersquirrel.

I would tag someone else, but I only know three people on here, and they've all already gone.

current mood: hyper

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Thursday, May 19th, 2005
10:28 am
Yeah, I know...I haven't written in awhile. I'm a bad livejournaler (livejournalee? livejournalist?).

But here's a quick update on what's been going on in the last few weeks, in no particular order:

1. Finished my damn room. Now it feels like someone else's.

2. Finally got through the majority of stuff I had to sell at the garage sale. Then, garage sale got rained out. I've said it before and I'll say it again. Man, I own a lot of shit.

3. Went to Medieval Times for my 'birthday'. Amazing time, lots of long-lost old friends, lots of red wine, and got jiggy with a 12 year old.

4. Found some previously-unknown self restraint, and lost almost 20 pounds.

5. My friend Jose is visiting from Mexico, and since he's arrived I've put 5 of those pounds back on (includes two...count 'em TWO different meals at McDonald's in the same day).

6. Did two nights of karaoke in a row. Am considering a possible career in being a professional karaoke-er.

7. Went to get some money out of the bank, only to find that I was $200 overdrawn.

7b. To celebrate my bankruptcy, I bought an iPod. And 3 more CDs. Used my mother's credit card. Still haven't told her.

8. Played paintball on Monday. Since then, I've changed my mind to seriously consider a career in sniping.

9. Went to Niagara Falls yesterday, but not for the usual reasons. Played tourist...went to Ripley's, Marvel funhouse (rode on the best bumper cars ever), Nightmares for a second round, got wet on the Maid of the Mist, and killed my diet even more with Oh Henry fudge and a rootbeer float.

10. Lost my stepfather's cell phone somewhere during the day.

11. Am currently awaiting his wrath.

12. Got turned down for a job at HMV, due to the fact that I am apparently too 'high strung', 'nervous', and 'jumpy'. I guess that sniping career is now out.

13. Got a SECOND letter of rejection from Cogeco. "Yep, we STILL don't want you."

14. Finally got a job working with people with brain injuries. STILL haven't started due to the 8 hours of CPI training and WHMIS, the 'psychological profile' which consists of 24 essay questions, the test on the brain, the test on the company's mandate, the 16 hours of unpaid 'shadow shifts', the full medical that can't be done since my own doctor is in the hospital, and the the $40 police record check which apparently also takes 2 weeks to write down that I've never done anything illegal.

15. Have decided to amend that, and to do something illegal. (Check back here for updates on that).

16. Helped hammersquirrel to chaperone his school trip to see Into the Woods at Stratford.

17. Now realize why he's going gray.

18. Together with Bobby Bagarelli and Pedro Bagarelli, managed to finally manage conversation with strange women at a bar. Only to be shot down once again.

19. Laughing during "Kicking and Screaming".

20. Wondering if spending an hour trying to remember, and write down, all of the major events of the last month is really a productive activity.

current mood: horny

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Wednesday, April 27th, 2005
12:29 am
Spent the day painting my room. My god, my place is a fucking mess. There is shit EVERYWHERE. How is it possible that people have so much STUFF? As soon as I get rid of all of this shit, I am throughly going through with my vow to become a minimalist. No more material possessions for me. I just can't take the clutter anymore....so....much....clutter......head......going....to....explode......

current mood: horny

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Thursday, April 21st, 2005
1:14 am
Well, my process of distancing myself from Canada and all of the material possessions associated with my 'life' here has officially begun. And it began with the big one...my beloved waterbed. Rest in Peace, beloved bed. Estimated time of death, 3:36pm, Wednesday April 20, 2005. I rented a waterbed pump, drained all of the 13-year old water out of it, dissembled the frame, and now it is in pieces in the garage. Sniff.

Man, me and that bed have been through lots....I bought it for $15 at a garage sale about 13 years ago, and never looked back. Oh, Bed, you kept me warm during those cold wintry nights. Oh, Bed, you were all wavy, and made me feel like I was at sea, even when I wasn't. Oh Bed, you were there during my tough pubescent high school days. Oh, Bed, you comforted me during all of my highs and lows. Oh, Bed, you were there when I got into university. Oh, Bed, you were there when I came home from my travels, steadfast, loyal, never moving, never swaying from your love for me. Oh, reliable Bed. Oh, Bed, you were soft and cozy as I got my very first BJ on you. Not lost my virginity, though...that was on the floor. (Oh, Floor!)

Along with my (sniff) bed, I also threw out about 25 pounds of old theatre programs, dating all the way back from highschool. Pretty much every play I've ever been in, involved with, or seen. That's a lot of plays. I can't really, for the life of me, though, figure out why I kept them all. What, am I sentimental for X play I saw at the Sears Drama Festival 10 years ago?

I also took down all of my posters....Goodbye cast of Trainspotting! Goodbye Killjoys! Goodbye signed Sloan poster! Goodbye 3 Claire Danes posters! Goodbye picture of my cat I took for photography class in grade 11! Goodbye picture of the My So-Called Life cast from 1994 issue of Teen Beat! (I haven't done much with my wall decorations in awhile). Not gone, though, is my Hooters calendar. That's not coming down till it's PACKED.

But man, it IS rather sad. Not only because of the severing ties with Canada through the demise of my belongings...but it also seemed like...you know....the end of innocence. Throwing things away that were once very dear to you has a definite finality that is not necessarily pleasant. When I was away, at school or on the ship, I could always come home to my room...the room with the same bed, the same posters, the same play programs, the same everything, and...regress.

I guess I actually have to grow up now..................................

Nah.

current mood: horny

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Wednesday, April 13th, 2005
1:17 am
And so ends Day 58 of sitting on my fat ass doing nothing. I have graduated from vacationer and casual job searcher to flat out freeloader. I don't pay rent, I eat free food, and I do jack-shit-all all day long.

Life is good.

As for the 'fat ass', the diet seems to be going well...I'm proud of myself for staying strong for, what?, one whole week now. Went out last night and didn't have a beer or a piece of pizza. Went out on Friday and didn't gorge on the nachos. Not much to show for it yet, but let's hope that this week the pounds start falling off.

It's nice to start working out too....I must say the guns are gettin' pretty huge. I could give Sylvester a run for his money in Over the Top.

I'm selling all of my VHS tapes on eBay, which I didn't think would sell, since NO ONE watches VHS anymore...it's like, so 2 years ago. But some are actually selling. So, I decided to give a few of them a re-watch, before I ship 'em off to their new owners. Watched The House of Yes tonight...couldn't watch it without thinking of Bobby's huge boner on the Robinson. Comedy gold.

So, I'm thinking it's definitely time to get a goddamned job. I have a couple of leads which I will definitely follow up on...probably Monday, I think. Gives me 5 more days of freeloading.

Hopefully this Medieval Times thing works out....man it's hard to organize something around so many people. People, AND their needs, suck.

Oh, and got a negative feedback on eBay today from some dickwad asshole who refused to pay for the thing he bought. Hey, buddy, *I* don't make the goddamned shipping costs! Canada Post really is a fucking rip off. What a bunch of con artists the postmen are. I always feel bad telling people how much their packages cost, and they rightly get pissed off, but hey...blame Canada Post, not me. So, now I have a negative feedback from some small-dicked loser who just wanted to make himself feel more like a man by giving me a negative feedback about the price. That stupid limp-dicked, cock-sucking, shit eating, smelly crotched, pus holed, penis breath'd, ass licking, white trash, illiterate, snot sucking, hemorrhoidal, salivating, cum guzzling, sister fucking, toilet bowl licking, sperm-burping, festering anal discharge redneck ass-pirate cretin who should have been aborted. But I'm not bitter.

Oh, and a new show starts tomorrow which tells of events which signify the end of the world. In related news, Britney Spears is pregnant.

'Night, all!

current mood: horny

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Monday, April 11th, 2005
12:16 am
It's technically Monday, but I just had the highlight of my Sunday. I just finished watching my taped copy of the Surreal Life, a show which I have never actually seen before. I've heard OF it, yes, but never actually seen. I'm thinking, 'Okay, some washed up has-beens on a reality show trying to relive their now-defunct star status." And, for the most part, that is the case.

However, this show included what was quite possibly the funniest, weirdest, most random thing I have ever seen in my entire life: Vern Troyer, Mini-Me, getting falling-down pissed drunk, moaning orgasmically in his bed, and then riding down the hallway in his scooter, NAKED, and then pissing in the corner of the room.

You can't fucking WRITE this stuff.

Oh, and in the previews for the rest of the season, Peter Brady saying the phrase, "Strippers love me", was right up there too.

Damn.

current mood: horny

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